The Weird Hogwarts Chatroom
by Jalandra and Kirara and Myoko
Summary: This insane, weird, and crazy ficlet, that you're about to read may be the funniest yet. But Don't blame me, it's my first fic. Rated T, just in case. This has every ship, except slash! Please Read!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is Lily! This is my first ever ficlet, so please be nice!**

**This has every chapter, a different. Well except Slash . Have fun reading.**

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**Gryfinndor Common Room.**

_**boywholived signed in.**_

_**weasleysourking signed in.**_

boywholived: Hey Ron!

weasleysourking: Watcher Harry.

boywholived: Nice username.

weasleysourking: Well, if people look at your username, it's going to be obvious who you are.

_**lilbookworm signed in.**_

_**fieryredheadprincess signed in.**_

lilbookworm: Hey Ron, Hey Ron.

boywholived: Hey Hermione. Who's the other girl?

fieryredheadprincess: It's Ginny, silly!

boywholived: Oh, sorry, Gin.

lilbookworm: Lol.

weasleysourking: What in bloody hell is LOL?

lilbookworm: It means Laugh Out Loud. And Don't Swear!

fieryredhead: So what'cha talking about?

_**slytherinprince signed in.**_

slytherinprince: Where the hell am i?

boywholived: Currently in the Gryfinndor Common Room.

lilbookworm: It's obvious you're not a Gryfinndor, who're you?

slytherinprince: How could you not know me? I'm the Great Draco Malfoy!

fieryredheadprincess: How did you get in this Common Room?!

weasleysourking: And why in bloody hell are you using a computer?!!

slytherinprince: Well Weasel, I may ask you how could you afford a computer. Ha!

lilbookworm: Shut up Ferret!

slytherinprince: Oh. Hello Hermione. How are you? You look pretty in DADA.

lilbookworm: Pervert.

weasleysourking: Don't talk to her, Malfoy!

boywholived: Get out of this chatroom, you're not allowed in this Common Room.

fieryredheadprincess: Yeah! What he said.

slytherinprince: Psh, and butt out of a chance to piss the hell out of you gits? Never!

lilbookworm: FINE!

boywholived: So what'cha wanna talk about?

weasleysourking: Well how 'bout Me and Harry go for Quidditch Pratice. The upcoming game against Slytherin's coming up. And Harry's going to catch the snitch before you, Malfoy!

slytherinprince: That'll be when the Weasley's get rich, which is uhhh NEVER!

_**boywholived signed out.**_

_**weasleysourking signed out.**_

fieryredheadprincess: Hey guys, wait up! I'm coming with you!

lilbookworm: No! don't leave me alone with the git!!

_**fieryredheadprincess signed out.**_

lilbookworm: Great. I'm stuck with the pevert.

slytherinprince: So Hermione, we're alone. Wanna do stuff? Cyber??!

lilbookworm: You know what? How about I leave this chatroom and go somewhere else. Like the library.

slytherinprince: How about meeting me at the broom closet _near_ the library.

lilbookworm: ...

slytherinprince: Please?

lilbookworm: Besides, what would the Slytherins say?

slytherinprince: I would hex them if they compliment or insult you, sweeethart.

lilbookworm: Don't call me Sweethart if you don't want to get cursed to next week.

slytherinprince: All right, Hun.

lilbookworm: -growls- Malfoy.

slytherinprince: I rather you call me Draco, cuz later you'll be screaming it.

lilbookworm: Pervert.

slytherinprince: a _sexy _pervert. So would you meet me at the broom closet?

lilbookworm: Grrr. If I do, would you leave me alone?

slytherinprince: Yes.

lilbookworm: Meet you later.

_**lilbookworm signed out.**_

slytherinprince: How do I do it?

_**slytherinprince signed out.**_

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	2. Lily and James

**A/N: Hey, It's Lily back again! I decided to make more chapters. This is going to be a new ship. I wonder which.**

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_**-Few Years Back-**_

**Gryfinndor Common Room**

_**theprongs signed in.**_

_**siriusthegreat signed in.**_

theprongs: Yo, Sirius. Whats up??

siriusthegreat: Nothing much.Got any luck with Evans?

theprongs: She wants me. She's just playing hard-to-get.

siriusthegreat: There's always a word called "Avoiding."

theprongs: Shut up, Padfoot.

_**moony signed in.**_

moony: Hey everyone.

siriusthegreat: Yeah! the Gang's all here. Well except WormTail.

theprongs: When's the next full moon, Moony? -grins-

moony: James, you bloody idiot! People can pop in anytime!!!

theprongs: Like who?

_**xxlilyxx signed in.**_

moony: Like Lily.

xxlilyxx: Hey Marauders!

theprongs: Hey Lily. Got any plans for Saturday?

siriusthegreat: Oh no.

xxlilyxx: For the last time James, I'M NOT GOING OUT WITH YOU!!!!!! NOTHIN IN THE WORLD WOULD MAKE ME CHANGE MY MIND!!

_**thepropheter signed in.**_

siriusthegreat: Who the hell are you?

thepropheter: I'm from the future. And I can tell you all what happens.

theprongs: Ooh! Ooh! Does me and Lily get married?

xxlilyxx: Psh. Like that'll happen.

thepropheter: Actually, you guys will get married. And get a son, who'll be the Boy Who Lived. He'll be the destroyer of Voldemort. So if I were you, GET MARRIED!

xxlilyxx: O.O really?

theprongs:

moony: But what about me?

thepropheter: You will be a DADA teacher here at Hogwarts, and get married to Nymphadora Tonks.

siriusthegreat: Cool! Remus is actually gonna be related to me! Awesome!

moony: But Nymphadora is 3 right now!!

theprongs: Haha! You're married to a toddler !

siriusthegreat: Okay wait a minute. What about me and Wormmy?

thepropheter: You, Sirius, better be nicer to Bellatrix or else she'll kill you. And Wormtail is going to betray you by turning Lily and James to Voldemort.

moony: Peter? But he's so innocent!

siriusthegreat: LETS KILL HIM!!!!!!

theprongs: Since we need to breed a child to destroy Voldemort, wanna go out with me?

xxlilyxx: ... Okay.

theprongs: YAY! Can I escort you to the broom closet?

xxlilyxx: Whoa Whoa. Who said I like you? I'm only doing this for the sake of Harry.

moony: Uhh, me and Sirius are going to leave you two lovebirds behind...

siriusthegreat: Awwww. I wanted to use it for blackmail.

moony: -grabs sirius by the collar[literally-

_**moony signed out.**_

_**siriusthegreat signed out.**_

xxlilyxx: So uhh wanna have a study date?

theprongs: As long as it has the word Date in it.

thepropheter: What about me?

theprongs: U go back into your time.

_**thepropheter signed out.**_

_**xxlilyxx signed out.**_

_**theprongs signed out.**_

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**Yay! That was a great chapter! Lily/James. I loved making thepropheter. Review!!**

**Put in your Review what ship you want for next chapter!!**


	3. Ginny and Harry

**A/N: Hey! It's Lily again, and I'm writing yet another chapter! thanks for all the reviews! I might do another chatroom besides Gryfinndor Common Room, if I can find another ship . Oh and this is past HBP. This has HBP spoilers. **

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**Gryfinndor Common Room**

_**theboywholived signed in.**_

_**weasleysourking signed in.**_

weasleysourking: Hey Harry, What's up?

boywholived: Oh nothing, just has to think some feelings over.

weasleysourking: Mind telling me?

theboywholived: Well you know about me and uhhh her.

weasleysourking: Oooooh! _Her._ Well, you could always get over it.

theboywholived: You're not mad?

weasleysourking: Why?? I mean it's just a girl.

theboywholived: Really? Oh okay, good. At least you won't worry about getting mad at our relationship.But I'm still thinking about it.

_**lilbookworm signed in.**_

lilbookworm: Hey Harry. Hey Ron. What'cha guys talking about?

weasleysourking: Oh nothing, I'm helping Harry get over his breakup.

lilbookworm: Oh. Is is about _her?_

boywholived: Ya. Can't stop thinking about it.

weasleysourking: Why not? It's been like 2 years. It's just a Ravenclaw.

**[A/N: Ron's an idiot and thinks it's Cho.**

boywholived??????

lilbookworm: No! U idiot, it's GINNY!!! Honestly...

weasleysourking: Wait, U'RE DATING MY SISTER??!! SINCE WHEN???

boywholived: We've been dating in 6th year.. but we're broke up. So don't worry anymore.

lilbookworm: Awww, I'm sorry, Harry. Ron, stop making Harry feel worse, you're not helping!!

_**fieryredheadprincess signed in.**_

fieryredheadprincess: Hey Harry.

boywholived: Oh hey, Ginny, wat's up?

fieryredheadprincess: Well, I've been thinking about the breakup, and I wanna get back with you again. **[A/N: Oh and she broke up with Harry, just to make it not confusing.**

boywholived: Really? Sure!!

weasleysourking: I'm here you know. AND I DONT APPROVE MY LITTLE SISTER WITH MY MATES!

fieryredheadprincess: WHO SAID YOU'RE IN CHARGE OF MY BOYFRIENDS?!!

lilbookworm: Don't you hate it when they go Caps-Locky?

weasleysourking: YOURE TOO YOUNG TO SNOG BOYS ANYWAY!!

fieryredheadprincess: OH YEAH? WELL IF IM SO YOUNG THEN DUEL WITH ME!!

weasleysourking: FINE THEN!!

_**weasleysourking signed off.**_

_**fieryredheadprincess signed off.**_

lilbookworm: Aren't you going to stop them?

boywholived: No. This'll be good. Are you going to watch?

_**lilbookworm signed off. **_

boywholived: WAIT!! DONT WATCH WITHOUT ME!!!!!!!

_**boywholived signed off.**_

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**Dueling Room**

_**fieryredheadprincess signed in.**_

_**weasleysourking signed in.**_

_**lilbookworm signed in.**_

_**boywholived signed in.**_

_**fieryredheadprincess chose a bat-bogey hex at weasleysourking.**_

_**weasleysourking is now attacked by bogies with wings.**_

weasleysourking: OI! THESE ARE DISGUSTING!!

**[A/N: The spell come out of the magical computers and attack that person.**

fieryredheadprincess: THATS FOR THINKING I WAS A LITTLE GIRL!

_**lilbookworm chose oppugno at weasleysourking.**_

_**weasleysourking is now attacked by a herd of yellow canaries.**_

weasleysourking: HERMIONE! HAVENT WE DONE THIS BEFORE??!!

lilbookworm: THATS FOR SNOGGING LAVENDAR!

_**boywholived chose a toenail growth hex at weasleyourking.**_

_**weasleyourking is now havin his toenails growing uncontrollably.**_

boywholived: THATS FOR NOT APPROVING ME AND GINNY'S RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!

weasleysourking: WHY ARE YOU GUYS ATTACKING ME??!! WELL THEN PREPARE THE WRATH OF MY FURNUNCULUS!!!!

_**weasleysourking signed out.**_

boywholived???!

lilbookworm: It seems Ron was an idiot and thought you were supposed to hex the computer, so his computer was covered in boils, which blew up the computer.

fieryredheadprincess: Well.. he's out of our way, so Harry, wanna go out?

boywholived: Yes. May I escort you to the broom closet, Miss Weasley?

fieryredheadprincess: Of course, Mr. Potter.

lilbookworm: Uhhhhhhh, see ya guys later, I'll see what Ron's up to.

_**lilbookworm signed out.**_

_**boywholived signed out.**_

_**fieryredheadprincess signed out.**_

**So throughout this whole chapter, we had a breakup, and a duel. Sort of.**

**To sum it all up:**

**RON GOT OWNED!!!!!!!**

**-smirks-**

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**This was a bit of a romantic thingy, but it was funny. Review!!! It was fun doing the Dueling Room. :P**


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